Photo by Louis Cahill
By Mark Greer,
When my son, Anthony, suddenly died in March 2011 it was beyond devastating.
His loss was the most excruciating pain that I’ve experienced during my life time. Anth was a talented fly fisherman and a Green River Outfitters Guides Association (GROGA) certified guide on the famed Green River below Flaming Gorge Reservoir. He was a college student, he tied his own flies, and he fished every waking moment that he could. He was also the kind of angler that would walk up to another angler on the water, strike up a conversation, offer them a secret tip for that specific spot, and then leave them with a couple of flies which he’d been successful with that day. He was also a fly-fishing evangelist, as everyone that expressed an interest in fly-fishing, Anth would take them out with him – teach them to cast, and give them the needed gear to get them started and off on the right foot.
In an effort to cope with the loss of my son, I did two things. I kept a journal where I’d write my thoughts and what I was struggling with, and I started a (picture) scrapbook of all his fishing adventures. I also decided during that first year of his passing that I’d do a special remembrance project for each year for 10-years. These projects, along with the journal and scrapbook, became my makeshift-therapy for dealing with my son’s death. Here’s a list of those projects.
Year-1 (2011) Newspaper article, journal, and scrapbook
Year-2 (2012) Shadow Box w/ Anth’s hand tied flies and The River plaque on the Blacks Fork River (WY)
Year-3 (2013) Steel trout and pencil sketch
Year-4 (2014) Chinese Lanterns (Daybreak Lake – northern UT)
Year-4 (2014) Great Fly Fisherman Should Never Be Forgotten article
Year-5 (2015) Graveside pictures/photos
Year-6 (2016) Colored pencil sketchings
Year-7 (2017) Graveside pictures/photos
Year-8 (2018) Metal silhouette (Middle Provo – northern UT)
Year-9 (2019) Patchwork quilt – made from Anth’s favorite t-shirts
Year-9 (2020) Timmy Grip for Anth’s favorite Sage Discover 5-weight
Link to Flylord’s article | Link to ‘Every Rod has a Story’ video by Tim Johnson
Year-10 (2021) Flybrary
Why a Flybrary
As a parent – you can never fully let go of the passing of your child. It’s something that just stays with you, like a physical scar, for the rest of your life. Anth was a part of me, and always will be. I decided that a flybrary would be the final, capstone project for the 10th year of his absence. My decision for choosing a flybrary was that I wanted the final Remembrance Project to be special. It had to convey Anth’s love of fly fishing, include his favorite trout (Cutthroat), his favorite fly pattern (Stimulator), and reflect his giving nature. The flybrary seemed perfect, being that it was giving something back to the fly-fishing community, while at the same time still honoring and keeping his memory alive. The flybrary was constructed of cedar planks, laser etched, then coated with linseed oil and sprayed with a urethane finish. A Fishpond Tacky Fly Dock was then added to secure the flies to the wood plaque. The Chubby Chernobyl flies added to the fly dock were tied by me using Anth’s old vise, his River Roads Creations foam cutters, and his tying materials.
Anth’s flybrary sits on the north bank of the West Fork of the Blacks Fork River [40.940718, -110.589064], which was the river where he refined his fly-fishing prowess as a young angler. It’s also the place where he, along with his twin brother, Nick, and little brother, Alex, spent countless hours with their father catching Colorado River Cutthroat, enjoying the summer sun, and dodging the occasional moose.
It is my sincere wish that this flybrary will provide many visiting anglers the opportunity to grab a Chubby Chernobyl, Stimulator, Purple Haze, etc. when they’re fishing this water, or if they choose – to leave one of their favorite flies when they are out enjoying this river. I did this final Remembrance Project out of my love for my son and our shared love of fly-fishing wild places.
Some of the Words are Theirs
As in Norman Maclean’s infamous quote, I – too, have always been haunted by waters. That quote became even more significant and meaningful for me after Anth was gone. Specifically, the part, ‘On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.’
When I’m out on the waters — listening to the sound it makes as it flows down over and around rocks, through riffles, and into pools. I still look for the words, … hoping that some will be my son’s.
Previous Gink & Gasoline Articles
The River – A Short Essay by Anthony Greer | 3-19-2012 | Gink & Gasoline
Great Fly Fisherman Should Never Be Forgotten | 3-20-2014 | Gink & Gasoline
https://www.ginkandgasoline.com/fly-fishing/great-fly-fisherman-should-never-be-forgotten/
Yesterday I mailed in the warranty card for a Lamson LightSpeed reel | 3-15-2019
https://www.ginkandgasoline.com/fly-fishing-gear/lightspeed/
ADDITIONAL ARTICLES
Wharton: ‘The River’ called to passionate young angler | Salt Lake Tribune | May 13, 2011
https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=51678459&itype=cmsid
The Rants of a Green River Trout Bum: Anthony Greer | Fly Fisherman | March 19, 2014
https://www.flyfisherman.com/editorial/the-rants-of-a-green-river-trout-bum-anthony-greer/151941
OBITUARY (fyi – only; not for inclusion in flybrary article)
https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/saltlaketribune/name/anthony-greer-obituary?pid=149566373
Mark Greer Gink & Gasoline www.ginkandgasoline.com hookups@ginkandgasoline.com Sign Up For Our Weekly Newsletter!
Mark-Your taking the time to share your experience and how you commemorated Anth’s short, but beautiful life was poignant and touched me deeply. As a father who cherishes the now rare times that I can fly-fish with my daughter, I got a lump in my throat thinking about what I would feel if I had the misfortune to lose my child. It was a reminder of what’s important and to never forget to cherish the short time we have with those we love. I’ll be sure to spend some time should I ever get to the West Fork of the Blacks Fork searching for his words. Thank you, Mark. Godspeed
Mark, So sorry to hear about your lost. Six years ago we lost our 34 year old daughter, a 6th grade science teacher that loved to share her love of the out-of-doors with her students on field trips. As a family we did lots of outdoor trips with our pack mules and river raft. I know your pain. The Flybrary is a novel and great idea. I’d like to contribute some flies if you’d send me a mailing address.
Thank you for this post. I needed to read this today.