You Can’t Fix Everything With A Fly Rod

50 comments / Posted on / by

_DSF6850-Edit

Photo by Louis Cahill

This story does not have a happy ending and you should not feel like you have to read it.

But it’s Thanksgiving and I feel like I need to share something personal. At the same time I feel like I need to apologize for doing it. Hopefully something good will come from it. When I started G&G I swore I was going to be painfully honest with my readers but I’ve kept this from you for months. My hope is that it will help someone.

I’ve said before that fly fishing saved my life. That’s not an overstatement. In dark and difficult times I have turned to the river as a refuge. I have found in the cool of the water and the quiet of the woods a place where I can make peace with myself. It has led me back from the edge on many occasions and that’s why I am such an evangelist for the sport. I feel like fly fishing can help almost anyone. It’s a tonic I feel compelled to share.

I haven’t written much about my godson, and I have never used his name. Brandon, who my wife and I call B, was born on my 25th birthday and there was a bond between us from the moment I saw him. He had a tough childhood, growing up without his mother. I looked after him when his dad worked. He stayed with me, traveled with me and later worked with me. There was never a time when he was, in my heart, anything less than my child.

image1B was a brilliant kid, funny and thoughtful, wise beyond his years. He was easy to love. His teenage years were hard and he was very withdrawn. He had few friends and spent most of his time playing video games. I tried teaching him to fish but he had no real interest in it. He would humor me and go stand in the river but he wasn’t really fishing. He’d have stood in a fire with me if I’d asked him to. Fishing just wasn’t his thing. It couldn’t do for him what it had done for me.

One night B decided he was done. He swallowed a handful of pills. Fortunately, he made a call before losing consciousness and was taken to the hospital. He survived, but he was in and out of the mental health system for the next year. When it seemed that his only option was long term hospitalization, my wife and I stepped in and took him into our home permanently.

B was a mess. He was on eight different psychiatric medications when we got him and was practically a zombie. We found a doctor who helped to get him off the meds and into therapy. Slowly he became his old self. It took years but B got back on his feet. It was the hardest thing Kathy and I have ever done, but it was much harder on B. I know he wanted to give up but he trusted me and did everything I asked of him. He worked so hard to survive.

Having B back in our lives was such a blessing. He was our kid and like any kid he was a giant, messy pile of life. He was huge pain in the ass and a constant joy. He was a comfort and a huge source of worry. He was a full time job and an endless vacation. He was everything I would have ever wanted my son to be. Everything but happy.

He worked for me for a while but I pushed him to do more. He found a job and lost it. Then got another that worked out. He started running and going to the gym. He wanted to join the Navy and scored one point short of a perfect score on his ASVAB test but was rejected because of meds he’d been on. After a lot of encouragement he enrolled in a local college. He got a place of his own and everything seemed to be on track.

There were some serious bumps along the way and I’m obviously sparing you a great deal of the story but we felt really positive about where B was going with his life. He was a complicated young man, but he was kind and empathetic, smart as hell and funny. He loved animals, had few friends but was fiercely loyal to them. After he moved out, I didn’t see as much of him as I’d like but I figured we’d fix that. I always thought that as he got older, and more patient, he’d get more interested in fishing and that would be our thing. Maybe it would help him find some peace.

One Thursday evening this past July, B was playing a video game with some friends online. He got into some kind of argument, I don’t know what about. I don’t know what was rattling around in his head. He had called me just a few days before to have lunch but I couldn’t do it. He didn’t seem like he had anything on his mind. He logged off of the game and once again B decided he was done. This time he used a gun. There was no phone call. No hospital and no goodbye.

I’d love to wrap this up neatly for you. I’d really like to put it all in context and show you what it means. I can’t and I don’t know if I ever will. I said I would be honest and the truth is that I am completely broken. I have done so many things in my life and I have failed at the only one that mattered. The fly rod couldn’t fix B and this time I’m not sure if it will fix me either. But I am trying.

I’m looking pretty hard this year for things to be thankful for. Surprisingly, I am finding them. I’m thankful for my wife Kathy who has held it together for the two of us. I’m thankful for my friends who have stood by me and helped me keep G&G alive. And this is a tough one, but I’m thankful for having had B in my life. I’m angry and hurt, full of guilt and immensely sad but I am thankful that he shared his brief and painful life with me. I can’t imagine myself without him.

I think maybe that’s what Thanksgiving is for. Not for celebrating our good fortune but for looking beyond the bad. Who needs a holiday to be thankful for our flatscreen TV or our SUV? We need a day to look around and really give thanks for the things that matter. Even if they are difficult and painful. A day to take stock and to see how unimportant most of the things we waste our lives on truly are. And I think that the harder you have to look, the more good it does you.

So take a minute. Right now. Chances are you are reading this on your phone, or laptop, or family computer and around you are the people who have taken this day to be with you. If they aren’t there, close your eyes and picture them. Don’t say a word. Just take a minute out of this busy, loud day and think about what matters to you. Who matters to you. Find what’s important and don’t waste any of it.

So I’ve dumped this on you at Thanksgiving and I haven’t given you a thing about fishing. I’m sorry. I hope that there is one person reading this who needs to hear it. Just one person who might make a different choice. If you have a child, teach them to fish. If you know a young person, teach them to fish. It might make a difference or it might not, and if it does you’ll never know, but it’s worth a try.

Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for reading.

Louis Cahill
Gink & Gasoline
www.ginkandgasoline.com
hookups@ginkandgasoline.com
 
Sign Up For Our Weekly Newsletter!
 

Follow Gink & Gasoline on Facebook:

50 thoughts on “You Can’t Fix Everything With A Fly Rod

  1. Listen, I don’t know you, we’ve never met, but I find myself reading this with tears in my eyes. There is no way for me to know what your truly feeling, I’ve never been thru anything like that.

    Just know that for the foreseeable future I and my family will be praying for you and your family. I won’t give you or anyone else the religious talk, but I believe prayer maters.

    I am truly sorry for your loss, and am praying for you.

  2. Thank you. Thank you for sharing Lewis that I had to take a lot out of you. Many of us have been down a dark path and somebody to read it and help them choose the better path. Tight Lines brother!!
    Happy Thanksgiving!

  3. Louis, for a number of years my wife has had a chronic lung disease that eventually led to a transplant. Which is really another chronic disease in itself. We spend way too many nights together in the hospital. Thereis a lot of down time and eventually it becomes too much and you need a distraction, something to look forward to. Often G&G provides that for me when I can not get on the water, even when your opinion is dead wrong. I don’t know how to return the favor, so I’ll just say Thanks. While you may be struggling to find things to be thankful for this season I wanted you guys to know someone is thankful to you and that what you do often goes beyond fly fishing. We will keep you and your family in our prayers.

  4. I like Curtis and probably so many others have finished reading this with tears rolling down my face, not a good thing in the middle of an office, but in reality not a bad thing. I have been lucky all our children have grown and married wonderful people, I don’t know what to say apart from I’m sorry this happened to you and sorry for your loss.

  5. There simply are no words. Thank you, Louis, for you openness and your honesty. Thank you for sharing your pain and bearing your soul in such a raw and genuine way. But most of all, thank you for reminding us that life is messy and that we must acknowledge those points of light in our lives that we should be truly thankful for. What else do we have, if not them?

    May the day give you, and all your readers, large portions of peace and extra helpings of joy.

  6. Louis,

    Thank you for sharing B’s story. I hope everyone that reads it understands, if just a little, what suicide and depression looks like. It is a massive problem right now and mostly a silent one. Stories like this help bridge the gap and might even encourage some people to get help.

    Several years ago in February we lost my wife’s brother to suicide. It has changed everything and the pain never quite goes away. I won’t be so presumptuous as to tell you that I know what you are feeling. I don’t… But My heart goes out to you and your family, may there be joy and laughter at the Cahill house these holidays.

    Sincere thanks,
    Daniel

  7. Louis,
    Thank you so much for sharing this painful story with us. While words fail me here i know that often, just bearing witness, just saying I’m here with you can be helpful. i like to think that as each of us, your readers, bears witness to your pain, that some small amount is lifted and your burden becomes lighter.

    Warmly,
    Jason

  8. Louis I am truly sorry for your loss and as someone said above there are no words. I have also been led to the river and it is where I most clearly hear God. In time I pray that you and your wife find the peace that you need.

  9. Louis, I am truly sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing. A lot of things in this world just don’t seem to make sense, are unfair and plain out suck but we somehow need to continue.

    You have helped me do just that. One of my boys has battled cancer several times over the past 10 years. We spent countless days in hospitals with other children fighting for their lives. Some make it, many don’t.

    You try to make sense of it all and you constantly ask yourself why. Unfortunately I don’t have the answer and I’m not sure there is one. You just have to look for the good things in life and be grateful for the time we have with those we love.

    G&G is one of the good things. Your writing and photography have brought me back from the brink many times. You have provided the solace I needed during some dark days and for that I am eternally grateful.

    I hope that you too find that internal peace and know that Brandon will always be with you.

  10. Louis
    I can relate to your loss as I lost my only niece under similar circumstances this past winter. When you do all you can for a loved one and it doesn’t work out, your left with a painful heart but guilt cannot be part of it.

    Hope to see you again soon. DJ

  11. Louis,

    Thank you so much for sharing what I am sure that was a heart wrenching piece to write. I unfortunately have walked in your shoes.

    Trust me the fly rod will help but there always seems to be a certain amount of hurt and sadness that never goes away. It has been over 10 years and I still had to stop and collect myself several times in this short response. I have learned that at some point you have to let go of the guilt and just cherish all the good times you had together. It sounds like you were a bright spot in an otherwise troubled life!

    I am thankful for you and anyone else who goes out of their way to help a troubled soul. Tight lines and have a good Thanksgiving!

  12. Louis,

    As a teacher I have had students go down that same road as B. Boy is it hard on the one’s left behind. Time and family is what heals the soul from these unfortunate times. You have great family here to help support you. I want let you know my prays are with you and your wife.

    I am very Thankful for this Blog as I read it each morning when I get to school.

  13. Thank You for sharIng, Louis. I have tried to help raising five children and I know about some of the dark times. Though my experience did not include this kind of loss, every parent knows the pains and joys that children bring.
    We try to bring them the gifts that we can, while doing the best that we can with the tools available.
    Sometimes loss is unavoidable.
    Your story and your attitude of gratitude have given me a special gift on this Thanksgiving.
    Peace and Loving Kindness to you and yours.

  14. Thanks for your compassion and sharing. I too have survived the lives that have been lost to suicide. My sister and several close friends are physically gone from my life.I feel fortunate to have had been able to share the great times and the hardest time’s with them.. The numbness, pain, emptiness, understanding and memoires continue. The effect’s of being a survivor of someone’s suicide can be ever lasting. I thank my wife Kathy, daughter’s S & SS and God for the support during those challenging times. We must take the negative and turn it into a new positive. Your story touched my heart and soul, blessings to you, much love,compassion and empathy. Enjoy your Thanksgiving,
    K

  15. Thank you for baring your soul to share this with us. As a Project Healing Waters mentor I can attest to what fly fishing can do for those with troubling demons and complicated wounds, visible and cloaked. It is up to us to reach those we can. But no amount of love and attention can cure everyone. Our lot is to try our best. Knowing you, you gave your all. Be at peace, and know my thoughts and prayers are with you today.

  16. Thank you for sharing. My 11 year old son and I went out to sneak some fishing in before Thanksgiving lunch. It was one of those days where we missed bites, got tangled every time we twitched a muscle and the fish just weren’t interested in what we were offering. Very frustrating to say the least but then I realized how lucky I am to have a son who is willing to get up early and brave the cold with me instead of sleeping in or watching cartoons. I took a deep breath, watched my son intently reading the water and was overcome with love for him that you just can’t understand until you have a child. Your article really drove home for me how important it is to take in these moments even when they don’t go as you plan. As much as I love fly fishing it isn’t really what it’s all about. Don’t feel bad for sharing this with us, it’s a very big step in dealing with this grief and it takes a big man to bear his soul like you’ve done. It sounds like you did everything possible to make him feel loved and brought moments of comfort to someone facing an awful struggle. That love will live on, you amd your wife are amazing for standing beside him through it all. A lot of people in similar situations don’t have that. I love G&G, it has helped me through the trials of working my way from beginner to novice. Keep up the good work, tight lines and all the best to you and your family.

  17. “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
    Bob Marley.
    I have yet to find a more accurate statement and regardless of what people might say or think, we decide who those people are with our heart, and with our conscious.
    I’ll keep fishing that same seam because I love it, because I think it’s beautiful whether it produces or not and it makes me want to never stop trying.

  18. I wish you the best Louis. I’m iny 20s and it seems like suicide and overdoses are a real epidemic amount people my age. Every time I bump into people from high school it seems there’s a new tragedy to discuss. I wish people would think about the devastating ripple effect these events have. It is hard not to ask yourself whether you could have been there for that person when they felt so alone that suicide or even heavy drug use was the only way out.

    Again, I am sorry for your loss. Brandon sounded like a very special young man and I hope you and your wife can pick up the pieces.

  19. I am tearful in my office at work, having not anticipated how powerful a post that would be. I am truly appreciative of how open, honest, and vulnerable you have been with us. I don’t know you and probably will never meet you, but I would love to give you a hug. I know the hug would not change anything, but its just my gesture of support and recognition.
    Thanks as well to the needed focus on what really matters. Modern life has too many distractions and fly fishing can be helpful with that. However, the suffering of life needs to be suffered for us to move beyond and be grateful for the positive elements that are there.
    I am glad B had you during his days.

  20. Louis, we’ve never met, except on the internets. But I felt every word. There’s a bunch of us out here that are hurting for and with you. I, for one, am going to take a bunch of people fishing. Thank you for sharing.

  21. Louis:
    As much as I have enjoyed reading your thoughts on flyfishing, I have to say that this is probably your best piece of work. Sorry for your loss! I’m not sure why horrible things happen, but I do know that flyfishing is usually the medium for me to let my brain let go of things that are trivial and unimportant and I come away with clearer focus to tackle the real issues. Hope you find some solace in the coming days.

  22. Hi Louis,
    I passed trough the same situation in 2007 loosing my son of 15 years old. He was “playing” self chocking….
    There are no words to describe the Horror we suffered , but Horror has the face of our Sons when we saw them dead.
    I suffered an hearth attack also in consecuence of this, after 3 years..
    His birthday was close and i’ve promised him to skydive with me, His daddy,but he jumped before me…
    Anyhow i recovered contacts with him…during regressive hypnosis..ther’s always a karma in our lives which comes from other past lives…
    There’s a thin red line which settles us out from the twilight zone, but sometimes we can trespass it.
    The price doesn’t care.
    I’ve payed a very expensive ticket to get over there and talk to him again , quite i was loosing my life as well.
    I didn’t follow him ’cause we have a daughter as well and she doesn’t need more pain.
    When you describe your son it reminds me my Enrico
    He was just very fond to fishing…and loved the sea, the Ocean we have in front of the House.
    But life hits you when you never expect, and we must rise up after the bombing…
    Fishing was the one of the reasons why i’m still alive , even if these wounds never heal, only stop bleed for a while…Get in touch if i can help you in some way.
    Big Hug
    federico

  23. I am so very hard to hear what you have gone through. Fly fishing kind of gave me a safe haven too. I hope things get better for you and everyone who was touched by “B”. A friend of my own who I called “G” also decided it was time to go nearly 4 years ago. He was basically a brother. All you can do is everything you are, reflect on everything good in your life that you truly have to be thankful for. Praying do you and your family.

  24. Your thoughts have touched all of us. There is so much that none of us will ever understand, but your obvious courage and humanity gives us hope for the tough times that come into every life.

  25. If Thanksgiving is in part responsible for this story being shared, a stronger value in the holiday has been restored to me. Thank you. I know exactly with whom I will share this, with hope that it will help them even more than it has helped me today.

  26. I am so sorry, I also has losses, tragic ones. Thanks to God, I turned to fly fishing and friends. After 41 years, three sons and my loving wife have been taken.

  27. Where you are, what you’ve been through — I have, too. I am still broken almost 5 years after my son, Anthony, took his life. The pain I carry, like a scar, has faded a bit during the time since his death — but it hasn’t gone away.

    Words cannot begin to describe the void in one’s life after such a loss.

    After reading about Brandon, he sounded very much like my Anth — a sensitive, caring person that would give you the shirt off his back to make you happy or to help you out, yet almost too sensitive — too tender hearted for this world.

    After reading about B, the following Norman Maclean quote came to mind:

    Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don’t know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them – we can love completely without complete understanding.

    I am so very sorry for your loss, Louis.

    – Mark

  28. In Afrikaans (my native language in South Africa) there is a simple saying “Sterkte, ou boet”. Literally translated as “Strength my brother”. I don’t know you, I’ve never set foot in your country, but some things are universal. Grief is one, support and encouragement are two more. I think we all share in your grief, hopefully you can also feel the support and encouragement being shared in these comments.

    Sterkte, ou boet.

  29. In these days seem everyone has to suffer for persons deelpy rooted in our hearts. What we can do for them?
    Only love them sincerely and stand with them against
    the bad times. This may not help them, but in some way,
    it may help us if, after the storm, we are the survivors.
    “Good friends we have, oh, good friends we’ve lost
    Along the way.
    In this great future, you can’t forget your past,
    So dry your tears, I seh.” again Bob Marley like in a message preceeding this. Thank you for sharing man:
    at the other side of Atlantic Ocean, in Italy…you have a friend Aldo

  30. Thank you all for your kindness and support. It truly does mean the world to me. The G&G family is a remarkable bunch of folks. It’s you who make this site awesome. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

  31. Pingback: We’re Back | Grindstone Sabbatical

  32. I’m so sorry for your loss, Louis. No words can ease the loss, a loss many of us have experienced in our lives. The heart that’s strong enough to love without restraint is also strong enough to heal from the pain. A good deal of my healing has taken place on a river somewhere, peace and solitude come easily, and that’s where I find clarity. If I happen to catch a fish, the day was twice as rewarding.

  33. A powerful story of deep sadness and loss. However, shining through is your love and determination for “B”. Thanks for sharing and may you find peace and solace in, not just the streams and fly fishing, but all that is a part of your life.

    I hope that somehow taking pen to paper will be the catharsis that lightens your load.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  34. Crying- a lot. I don’t know what I could or should say. I think I will take a day off work this week to fish, reflect. I can only hope you both find peace.

  35. Thanks for the willingness to share your life with us Louis. While the scar will always be there, it will also bring wisdom. You choose to help when you could have walked away. That is all anyone can ever do. Thanks for what you did for B and what you do for us.

  36. I dont think I could write anything that has not already been better expressed by others before me. I am truly sorry for your loss. You have shown great courage and honesty in sharing this. I wish you well.
    Steve.

  37. Louis,
    Losing someone that is extremely close is soul wrenching, especially when it seems to come out of nowhere like Brandon’s death did.
    I am very sorry for your loss Louis; that your hopes of spending more time on the stream with him will never be; that all your efforts to show Brandon a different life seemed to be in vain; and that you feel you failed at the most important thing that mattered.

    You didn’t fail Louis, you took a stand, and made a difference in a boy’s life that had no options other than the one you and Kathy offered to him. And I commend you for that. If the world was full of couples like you and your wife, it would be a much better place.

    At best, parents and guardians are guides…nothing more; we teach by example. You offered Brandon another option when he cried out for help with his first suicide attempt. You took him under your wing and showed him what gave you a happy and fulfilling life. And in a perfect world it would have given him a happy and fulfilling life; but as we all know, this is not a perfect world.

    No one knows what will make another person happy; what they need to feel whole again; or how to undo the trauma they experienced in their youth. Some traumas create a hole in the human soul so deep and so wide that nothing can fill it. Most people just look on and express sympathy, others will do almost anything as long as they don’t have to get personally involved, and the medical field offers medication to help fill the hole.

    You and Kathy did the one thing that could make a difference; you got involved; you helped Brandon get his life back together, you taught him work ethics and most importantly you bonded with him. You opened your home to him and treated him as family in spite of the stress it caused in your home.

    Louis, you did everything you could do; if anything was going to make a difference in Brandon’s life, the love you showed him would have done it.

    You have nothing to feel guilty about; what you did for Brandon is everything you could have done under the circumstances. He was living his life and you were living yours. Set aside the guilt, the coulda, shoulda, woulda thoughts; there is no place for them in the mourning process. Your efforts to help Brandon were heroic by anyone’s standard. Instead honor Brandon by mourning his passing with a clear mind.
    We can feel the hole in your heart and sadly only time will lessen that pain. Remembering the good times you had with him will help make that time more bearable.

    Your efforts to help Brandon were heroic by anyone’s standard

  38. Louis,
    Losing someone that is extremely close is soul wrenching, especially when it seems to come out of nowhere like Brandon’s death did.
    I am very sorry for your loss Louis; that your hopes of spending more time on the stream with him will never be; that all your efforts to show Brandon a different life seemed to be in vain; and that you feel you failed at the most important thing that mattered.

    You didn’t fail Louis, you took a stand, and made a difference in a boy’s life that had no options other than the one you and Kathy offered to him. And I commend you for that. If the world was full of couples like you and your wife, it would be a much better place.

    At best, parents and guardians are guides…nothing more; we teach by example. You offered Brandon another option when he cried out for help with his first suicide attempt. You took him under your wing and showed him what gave you a happy and fulfilling life. And in a perfect world it would have given him a happy and fulfilling life; but as we all know, this is not a perfect world.

    No one knows what will make another person happy; what they need to feel whole again; or how to undo the trauma they experienced in their youth. Some traumas create a hole in the human soul so deep and so wide that nothing can fill it. Most people just look on and express sympathy, others will do almost anything as long as they don’t have to get personally involved, and the medical field offers medication to help fill the hole.

    You and Kathy did the one thing that could make a difference; you got involved; you helped Brandon get his life back together, you taught him work ethics and most importantly you bonded with him. You opened your home to him and treated him as family in spite of the stress it caused in your home.

    Louis, you did everything you could do; if anything was going to make a difference in Brandon’s life, the love you showed him would have done it.

    You have nothing to feel guilty about; what you did for Brandon is everything you could have done under the circumstances. He was living his life and you were living yours. Set aside the guilt, the coulda, shoulda, woulda thoughts; there is no place for them in the mourning process. Your efforts to help Brandon were heroic by anyone’s standard. Instead honor Brandon by mourning his passing with a clear mind.
    We can feel the hole in your heart and sadly only time will lessen that pain. Remembering the good times you had with him will help make that time more bearable.

    Your efforts to help Brandon were heroic by anyone’s standard

  39. Louis
    I lost a god son years ago. He was my sons age, and my best friends son. We were all very close. Then I lost contact with his father, who went a different direction than I. Know that it is painful, but know it will subside. Then as my son grew on there were many fearful times such as him joining the Army and going special forces, Coming through that to end up getting into motorcycles and eventually crashing. Well he is finally coming to his senses it seems, and I have gotten back in touch with my best friend. Things have somewhat come full circle. But there are now other things to deal with as my son now has a broken back, and my best friend has cancer, getting through it, and fighting hard. I am thankful for what I have and will cherish every minute available to me with them. And as I go will send prayers and thoughts for you and all of those in the same position to find the peace and happiness along the way. And that the future comes out bright as mine has.
    I have looked many times to my fly rod and the fishing for healing, and found that though it didn’t heal, it did help to get my mind and spirit back in perspective. I am now 100% disabled. Docs say no more work. Blessing or curse, it is what it is and I can make the best of it or not. I chose to make every day the best I can and to try to help others along the way as much as possible. It is really hard to do the fishing I dreamed of, so do what I can.
    Keep your head up and keep doing what you do. I am sure that your god son would have wanted it that way. Fishing will do it’s job if you let it, I think you know this, but it will take time. Be strong and stand with that lady of yours together. Together works better than alone most times. The world is a rough place, and growing old isn’t easy, but someone to help and the lessons we learn along the way help to strengthen us as we go. And the river and the rod will do it’s thing if you let it.
    prayers and thoughts
    Jon

  40. Louis:

    You write brilliantly that the fly rod can’t fix everything, B and maybe not even you. Your writing and expression may fix everything, along with a rod, over time. If not, you can always talk with B through – you may not believe it just as I was uncertain – an Angel Reading. Several talented, blessed people can help us communicate with those we’ve lost and many more.

    My wife is one such Angel Reader. She saved me when I lost my “Bea”. Bea was my older brother, my best friend, my shining light. His light dimmed when he was only 43, 8 and half years ago as cancer helped him crossover.

    Bea visits us often and my wife helps me hear his words. Rough as it can be, watching a movie, visiting his three girls and wife, looking at pictures, he is more available to me now than when he lived 1300 miles away. Writing this amazing story in a book has helped me, as has my fly rod.

    Fish, write and Angel Read through this wonderful life. All the best to you and your wife.

    Shawn

  41. Pingback: Fly Fishing And Being Thankful | Fly Fishing | Gink and Gasoline | How to Fly Fish | Trout Fishing | Fly Tying | Fly Fishing Blog

Leave a Reply to Jake Ricks Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

Captcha loading...